It is exhausting; a complete waste of time and energy trying to convince other people to like you. I speak from a personal experience.
I tried it for the best part of my young adult life. I desperately wanted people to accept me because I did not know how to accept myself. I wanted people to like me, to believe in me, to tell me I was smart and intelligent.
Other people’s acceptance of me would have meant I was good enough. My attempt to be a super likeable person only led me further away from myself. It stifled my emotional growth and prevented me from being my true self.
I was always doing what others expected of me rather than my own personal expectations. Besides, I found it easier to make others happy; I used to tell myself it made me selfless and a good Christian. I wanted to be seen as a nice person, the one everyone likes and gets along with.
Putting other people’s needs before my own hindered my personal growth and my own human experience. I neglected my needs and as a result, I did not have a strong enough sense of self and personal security.
I often wonder what my young adult life would have be like, if I had worked as hard at convincing myself of my true worth, value, ideas, and self-belief.
I imagine I would have saved myself from lot of heartache and pain, because I would have attracted the right kind of people into my life, not because I had convinced them to like me, but because I have convinced myself of my true worth and value, allowing the true me to exit.
I learnt with time that being untrue to self serves no one. I learnt truth and authenticity enhances all relationships especially the relationship with one’s self. I learnt the kind of self-validation that I sought from others to make me feel good about myself can only come from me.
Finally, I learnt that I do not need to be everyone’s friend, and everyone does not have to like me for me to be all right. I am all right simply because I am.
And you are all right simply because you are.
Thank you for reading.
AmaSerwaaX
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